Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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