i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
