I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize