so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
