his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
