Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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