No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
