Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
