i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Less talking, more tequila
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
