so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
