I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He shit in the fireplace
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
