just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
