just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
