i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
