I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
