Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
