16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
