So drunk, too bad you don't want this
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
