You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
