i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
