Having a random hookup so left but love u
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
