You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
