omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
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i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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