I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
