Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
