nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
