I am spending my child support on dildos
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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