it hurts more in the daytime
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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