Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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