i permit you to call me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
