I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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