I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
