pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize