With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
