I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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