Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"it" just moved
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
