just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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