Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
