He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
