i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
