I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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