It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
