Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
