I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
