No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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