i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
