I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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