its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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