shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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