she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
