i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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