remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
