a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do herpes really smell.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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