Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
