So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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