Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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