You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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