Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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