can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think my moral compass just broke
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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