...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
