And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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