Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
