That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
