Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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